I am usually a pretty humble person. I don't like to brag about the things I'm good at (or the things I think I'm good at), therefore I tend to be incredibly self-deprecating. However, one of the things I am very good at is small talk. I can do this with just about any willing party, and God knows I'll try with the unwilling parties as well. Here is an example of the small talk I made with some of my regulars at Starbucks one lazy Sunday.
Wait...I should probably start by saying that they are both gay men, but not flamboyantly so. I say this because I did not know for certain that they were gay and my go-to chit-chat with men on Sundays in the fall is football....(In the winter, it's basketball, and in the spring, it's about how baseball has become too long and they need fewer games because the individual games actually mean nothing when you play 500.)
Ok go.
Me: So, any football viewings on the schedule today guys?
Hank: Is it football season?
Bob: (ignoring Hank) No, I'm not straight enough for that.
Me: (realizing they are gay and that, duh, football would not be on the schedule) Ooooh ok....
Awkward silence.
Me: So any antiquing on the schedule for today guys?
Bob and Hank, who I have discovered are incredibly cool, both laughed hysterically and, finally, when Bob could breath again:
Bob: No, I'm not that gay either. But you're definitely too quick for me.
Me: Why thank you. It's all the caffeine.
2 comments:
This might be your funniest post to date! I am dying laughing. I am in hysterics! LOVE LOVE LOVE! L.O.V.E. I wish I could have been there. Sometimes I think you could be a comedian. Thanks for the laughs. Very well delivered btw.
that's pretty hilarious...if it were me...i would have walked away and just pretend it didn't happen.. GO YOU!
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