Friday, January 28, 2011

Your Booty Call Should Take Place in Private

Everyday I am amazed at how private conversations are taking place in public. Here is what happened when I was leaving work yesterday.

There is a fire lane right outside of my Starbucks, where people park all the time. I understand the need to run in and grab coffee, but if you’re in that big of a hurry, you should probably just go to your destination and wait on the coffee. Or, if you’re just that lazy, you should probably just re-examine your life in general. Anyway, not the point…

So I was leaving yesterday and there was a guy parked in his car in the fire lane, facing away from the patio where several people were sitting. He had his window down, and was having a conversation about how this woman he is seeing is treating him like a “booty call” and he was tired of it. In the 3 minutes I stood there to listen to his conversation, he used “booty call” at least 5 times, and each time I wanted to tell him that she probably just didn’t want to have a relationship with a man in his 40s who uses the phrase “booty call.” He also described how even though he enjoyed having a “booty call” every now and then, he really liked this woman and he wished she wanted more. He also didn’t want to seem too insecure by saying anything to her about feeling like nothing more than a “booty call” and thought she might stop talking to him if he said anything. I’m going to assume that when he got quiet, the person he was talking to on the other line was giving her advice on the situation. Hopefully, that person was telling him that he was too old for this and to grow up. But possibly not.

I walked away laughing as pointedly as I could to ensure he knew I was listening to his conversation.

Now, before you get all “well you shouldn’t be eavesdropping and why are you being so judgmental,” I beg to you hear me out. First of all, this man was parked illegally and in my way. Anyone who is going to block the walkway on my way out of work is already subject to ridicule. Second, he had his window down and was making no attempt to be quiet about what he was saying. I talk loudly so I know how it feels to sometimes be louder than intended, but if I’m having a conversation about being a booty call, I’m going to be a little more conscious of my volume. Lastly, DON’T HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH YOUR WINDOWS DOWN UNLESS YOU WANT PEOPLE TO OVERHEAR YOU. If you want people to overhear you, then you had better be ready for judgment and mocking.

So, let this be a warning to everyone, if you are going to have a conversation in any public place, I will mock you in my blog. Unless I’m feeling particularly ballsy and mock you to your face when you hang up.

(On a side note…as I was writing this Wilmer Valderrama walked in and was talking on one cell phone, had one in his hand and another on a holster on his hip. I don’t know why he needs to many phones, but at least he was only having a conversation about when his friend was going to get there…Now that’s the kind of conversation appropriate for public places! Way to go, Fez)

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Well in fairness he was in his own car... which is technically a private place. Maybe his window was open because he needed fresh air. Or Maybe he was talking loudly about it because he is so passionately and madly in love with the woman hes having the booty calls with and he wanted to spread the word to the world. If i look at it in that light it's quite romantic and i kind of feel sorry for the guy.

Anyway usually it is the man who uses women for booty calls. So this is the role reversal so fair play to the woman i guess

AMBIVALENCE said...

I guess there are some conversations, you cannot help overhearing. Clearly he didn't realise how all this sounded ha-ha. I was also thinking that it was unusual to find a guy agonising over all this, must be a sensitive guy who actually does want a relationship. No wonder he was so loud and passionate about it all.

QueenKimmi said...

I really enjoy and appreciate both your romanticism. I should perhaps attempt to see the world from a less cynical place.

But then I wouldn't be a very entertaining person and my blog wouldn't be worth reading, so I'll keep judging from a cynical point of view :)