Me (in my best customer service voice): Hi, how's it going?
Girl (who's hair is all over the place and is wearing clothes that look like she has been wearing them for a few days): Not good. I just got outta jail.
Me: Wow...(awkward pause) I'm sorry about that.
Chad(who has no tact): What'd you do?
Girl: I found him fucking some other bitch so I slapped the shit outta him, and the mother fucker called the goddamn cops!!!
Me: Wow....(laughs uncontrollably, having to hold on to the counter to keep from collapsing in a fit of giggles)
Girl: And you know the worst part about it? My mugshot was fuckin cute!
Me: Well at least you have a new MySpace pic!
Girl: Thanks, that the first laugh I've had in two days!
Now that's living!